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Quote of the Day:
'Victims gradually lose their ability to make independent decisions and exercise informed consent.'
- Dr Margaret Singer


Scientology Disconnection tore apart my family…. My Story
(Adrian Kelsey)


Many months ago when I got out of Scientology I sent an e-mail to my daughter roughly saying the following:

I told her that I am no longer in Scientology and that the reasons for that are my own (her mother is in a very strong Scientology family). I warned her and said that one day Scientology would ask her to choose between me and Scientology.

I said the decision is yours and whatever decision you make will not change how I feel about you, I will always be your Dad and love you more than anything in this world and am always here for you.


Well, I just got off the phone with my 13 year old daughter who was in tears as Scientology was forcing her to never speak to me again due to the fact that I have been out spoken about my negative experiences in Scientology.


This is what happened.


We have been planning a trip for my two kids from my previous marriage to come out to Australia for a visit. I have sent the air ticket money and visa documents and they were supposed to arrive in early July. They have been excited about seeing Australia and we have spoken about all the things we are going to do.


A few days ago I got an e-mail from my daughter saying she needs to speak to me urgently, so I called and was met with one of the most - in fact the most - difficult things I have been through in my life.

She sounded really down on the phone and I will try to cover as accurately as I can what transpired.

She said she has heard that I am attacking Scientology and she asked if that was true. I asked her who had told her and she said her mother, she said I had been declared a suppressive person by the Church. I told her that I am out spoken about my experiences in Scientology and it’s all based on my experiences and that I am telling the truth. She responded by saying that I am attacking Scientology and that she cannot further her studies in Scientology if I continue to speak out and would be forced to sever all contact with me as per Scientology policy.


I asked my daughter to put her Mom on the phone.

My ex-wife said that while they were at Scientology in Clearwater , Florida , she was shown my Suppressive Person Declare. This Suppressive person Declare in Scientology terms basically means that Scientology labels you in writing that you are the lowest of the low, a criminal and against the wellbeing of all around you, and they show this to people who know you so that they disconnect from you. The result is nobody and I mean nobody who is in Scientology is allowed to have contact with you at all.

I told her that I have not seen such a declare on me and my ex insisted she was shown this document. I said “well then why have I not seen it?”.

She told me it was not being given to me for media reasons.

I got straight to the point with my ex asking her what that meant for the trip that was being planned. She said she is not sending my kids over anymore as she does not trust me due to me being declared a Suppressive Person.

A heated conversation followed at which point I asked for my daughter to be put back on the phone.

My daughter is now in tears on the phone telling me that I should “Do it for her”

What she means is that I get back into good standing with Scientology. That “if I love her I would handle this with the Church”.

At this moment my heart is being ripped out of my chest.

She is insisting that if I do not she will have to “disconnect” from me otherwise she will not be able to continue in Scientology.


I reminded her about the warning I had sent her months ago.


I told her this is not me wanting to break our bond nor is it you, take a look what your heart says, this is somebody else - the Church - saying we cannot be together. I am not forcing this situation on you and vice versa, Scientology is forcing this on us.

I told her everything that I have spoken out about is from my experience, they are things within the Church that need to change. I told her I do not expect her to understand yet and for that will not get into all the reasons.

I used an example saying: If you are at school and you see a teacher abusing a child and nothing gets done about it and you go to the principal and tell him and he denies it and then the abuse continues. So you then go to the School inspectors to report what you have witnessed and as a result you get expelled from the school as an out of control student.

This is what is happening, I told her I cannot sit and watch Scientology spokes people talk on the TV and know they are lying and do nothing about it.


With tears on her side of the phone and me fighting back my tears she insisted I return and I replied I will not return to Scientology however I respect your decision to continue studying scientology and will not get in the way of that and never have.

I have never told her anything bad about Scientology only that I was out.

I did this specifically as I knew Scientology would pull out their heavy hand and rip another family to pieces.


Well boy was I wrong. They still went ahead, getting a 13 year old girl overwhelmed by tears to call her father and say she will not speak to him again until he is in good standing with Scientology. It’s beyond reason that this could even be asked of anyone let alone a 13 year old girl.


Now my 10 year old son does not get a say in this either. He becomes a victim and maybe not fully capable of understanding what is happening but regardless of how he feels he is forced to lose his father and is helpless to the heavy hand of Scientology.


This conversation went back and forth over an hour and it ended with my daughter well and truly in tears telling me not to contact her until I was in good standing with Scientology.

My heart was literally lying on the floor, shattered, I was deflated and slumped down on the couch.


I want to share with you three emails from my daughter so as to make it known how sinister scientology is.

This is before my SP (Suppresive Person) declare from Scientology and in response to me informing her about scientology policy on disconnection.

** "Dad look I am staying in scientology but that does not mean that I do not love you. I do love you and if scientology tells me to not talk to you then to hell with scientology and I will never stop talking, visiting and loving you even if my whole family goes against me I will never stop seeing you and loving you. Scientology is not that bad. I know it sounds bad but you must have some kind of mis understood word. Maybe my mom does not want to be with you but I do and if scientology is as bad as you say it is, I will leave scientology. I started crying reading your e-mail about disconnection. I will never disconnect never never never never. I love you and I am crying at the moment but trying to hide it as I am in a public place. Look I am sorry but I can not leave scientology and will never leave you. I love you and I will never leave you. I want it to be very clear that no scientologist will tell me to leave you as one of the dynamics is family and you are a huge parte of it I will never leave you okay. No scientologist will convince me to stop loving you and disconnect. I don’t know why you are mentioning disconnection. When I read that I started instantly crying heavily, I will never do that to you I promise, I promise you I love you a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot Please respond to this and tell me that you will never stop loving me and that you understand that I will never stop loving you for ever."


Scientology puts out the SP declare on me. Below are the last two emails from her in response to emails from me.

** "You are absolutely right about my hate towards you and it is real. I am with my mom at least she looks after me while you don’t and she tries to help me I love her so I am with her so please shut up and leave me in peace."

** "Hi listen look please do not write to me any more don’t think of calling okay."


Disclaimer: This page is about groups, organisations or movements, which may have been called "cults" and/or "cult-like" in some way, shape or form.  But not all groups called either "cults" or "cult-like" are harmful.  Instead, they may be benign and generally defined as simply people intensely devoted to a person, place or thing.  An account from one person must be read as that; ideas could have been taken out of context or have been misunderstood.  Also, practices may change over time, or between one centre and another.  CIFS encourages readers to research widely before forming an opinion.  Information from one single source would need to be judged against other sources and one's own personal experience.  Therefore, the discussion or mention of a group, organisation or person on this page is not necessarily meant pejoratively. 
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